Believing is Seeing

My house is a wreck and the Christmas decorations are starting to crowd out the dust bunnies. The time has come to wrap it all away for another year. I always enjoy looking through the Christmas cards one last time. Sent from afar, each sends a touch of love and wishes for a joyful 2009. The Christmas “brag” letters get another quick scan. My college roommate Amanda included an unusual disclaimer in her letter. Like an investment prospectus that warns that “these statements are forward looking” her letter featured the following caveat:

“The editorial staff makes no comparison as to the relative “quality” of (our) year…while (we) feel truly blessed and had a great 2008, this update/newsletter/brag-sheet in no way suggests that (we) had it better than you.”

Most letters broadcast the highlights of the years travel and accomplishments. Likewise, I tried to document our year in a quick and cheerful letter. To be honest, on paper our year looked more than lousy. Unemployment curtailed our regular travel schedule and economic woes and uncertainty stole the wind from our sails. Seeing the words on paper left me feeling hollow. Although all those details I wrote were true, the facts didn’t reflect what we were feeling.

“Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.” We’ve watched so many Christmas specials this year; I can’t tell you where I heard it. Yet, this simple line resonates with me.

Because I believe, I can see beyond what is wrong in my life and see the joy, the hope and the promise. Even in our darkest moments, God’s love endures. My life has been blessed this years in ways that will never make the pages of my College Alumni magazine or even a Christmas brag letter.

Believing is looking with wonder and privilege at the opportunities of each day.

Open your eyes to find the joy that is all around you.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Commonunity - Common Problems

Five years ago, a friend invited me to her house. She and her husband welcomed me graciously into their home. We were not alone. As the kids ran off to play, we descended into the basement to join the other couples, seated in neat rows in front of the T.V.

I had joined a small group. I agreed to join before I really knew what it meant. I stood, clutching my standard, church issued, blue bible. Would it shield me from harm or danger? These people would seem harmless enough if encountered in ones or twos, but assembled as they were, as a pack, I was intimidated. "Don’t be fooled by their easy smiles and the punch and cookies," I cautioned myself. What did I have in common with these people? How could they understand my life and its problems?

We took turns introducing ourselves. With each story, I felt more out of place. I was new to church, still teetering in my faith, just a toddler in my faith-walk. Surrounding me was a room filled with bible-study veterans. My head started to spin. It seemed that everyone there was born and raised in a faith-filled environment and had never strayed from the path. Not me. I had a past. I had enough skeletons in my closet for a Halloween parade. How long would it take for them to run me out of the house with pitchforks and torches?

We started the video. I felt safe with the lights out. Rick Warren’s voice was comforting and the message was inspiring. I longed for comfort and encouragement. I came seeking a purpose for my life.

After the lights came on, we began to share. Although I felt my history, my understanding, and my experiences were unique, it turned out, we had so much in common. As I looked past their fancy Bibles with gold leaf edges, indexed tabs and custom carry cases, I realized we were not that different. We were all broken and hurting. We had all made mistakes. Deep down, our problems were all the same. We came before God seeking direction and answers. We joined as a group seeking comfort and compassion.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).

As you go about your busy life and your busy week, be on the lookout. All of us struggle with loneliness, endure fears, seek purpose, and search for connections in a disconnected world. Look for those who need your help. We can provide a way out and a way through for those in need. We can borrow the strength and compassion of God and serve those in our community. Like strands of thread that grow strong when joined together as rope, we must stand together and share our common problems.

Our small group came together. Saving, helping, keeping and loving each other, together we grew stronger. No one cared about my plain blue bible. They cared about me.

“Carry each other’s burdens. Let us do good to all people.” (Galatians 6:2,10).

September 11th

This isn’t my regular day to post, yet I felt moved to reach out today, September 11, 2008. At times, these seven years feel like a lifetime ago. Other days the events seem just a heartbeat away.

My mom sent us a children’s book. The book’s jacket describes a “moving portrait of September 11, 2001 and its aftermath. A Nation Challenged records one of the most important and devastating events in modern American history.” The feelings were so raw, I put the book on my son’s bookshelf to gather dust while I summoned the courage to explain what happened and why.

Each year I pondered if he was old enough. Deep down, I guess I didn’t want to be the one to break the news and shatter his sense of safety. He’s so young, so trusting, so innocent. Yet as we put our flags out, I wanted him to recognize the significance of the day.

I paged through the book for a starting point. The pictures of the crash and collapse were haunting reminders of the loved one that were lost and the lives that were forever changed. The starkness of time lines and maps contrasted with the pain and grief of the world as it mourned. People from across the United States and around the world came together. In churches and mosques and temples, we united to cry and lift our voices in song. People gathered together and prayed in the streets and at work and at schools around the globe.

This is what I will show my children. Along with the pain and the sadness I will share the hope and the faith and the love. Pictures of people in New York, Florida and Los Angeles are along side pictures of people in Kenya, Taiwan, India, and England. Each person with hands folded in prayer.

For all of our differences, there is much we have in common.


We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8)

The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. (Psalm 145:14)

The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus....And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:7)


Please join the conversation. Click below on comments to add your thoughts, recollections, or encouragements with others. Speaking with Integrity will resume on Sunday with the new series Commonunity.

Common Grounds - Our greatest predjudice

“Our greatest prejudice is against death. It spans age, gender and race. We spend immeasurable amounts of energy fighting an event that will eventually triumph. Though it is noble not to give in easily, the most alive people I’ve ever met are those who embrace their death. They love, laugh and live more fully.” - Andy Webster, Hospice Chaplain in Plymouth, MI

My quiet reverie is broken by the shrieking sirens passing by. Their cries stretch and wail as they race past me. Squad cars, fire trucks, an ambulance; they race to the scene. Will they arrive in time to help, to comfort, to save? I raise my eyes to heaven and I pray, LORD, comfort the injured. Let them see you, feel your presence, and accept your love. You are mighty to save. Mend their bones, heal their flesh. If it is time, save their souls.

The psalmist wrote, “Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?” (Psalm 6:2-3)

It is agonizing. We are all faced with death, whether a future construct, an inevitability or something more concrete. The odds delivered by a doctor. The prognosis after medical tests. The life lost in the blink of an eye. It pains me to think of losing my loving husband. It breaks my heart to even consider the loss of my sweet children. How could I go on without my mother or my father? Death will touch us all.

If you could know the exact time of your death, would you want to know? Knowing the moments you have left to live, would you change your life, your ways, your priorities?

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon computer professor made famous with The Last Lecture, died July 25, 2008. A shining example of courage in the face of death, his message reached millions. In August of 2007 his doctors told him pancreatic cancer would claim his life in three to six months. He made a choice to spend the time he had left living and not dying.

His lesson plan for us is simple:
Achieve your childhood dreams,
Enable the dreams of others, and
Never lose your childlike sense of wonder.

He tells us in his lecture that he is having fun and plans to have fun every day. He accepted his death but chose not to focus on it. He lived, loved and laughed with his wife and three small children, living each moment he was given. His lecture was a lifeline to his children that they may know his passion for life and his love for his family.

Carpe diem. Seize the day. Take time to smell the roses. There are many examples of living fully in popular culture and literature: The Bucket List, Life’s Golden Ticket, Tuesdays with Morrie.

In his novel The Art of Racing in the Rain, Garth Stein encourages us “to live every day as if it had been stolen from death . . . To feel the joy of life . . . To separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. To say I am alive, I am wonderful. I am. I am. That is something to aspire to.”

I do aspire to live fully in the present. Yet, I confess that I am often so busy that I lose sight of what is really important. My husband likes to remind me. He likes to sneak up on me when I am elbows deep in Palmolive suds at the kitchen sink. I never see him coming, focused as I am on fighting grease and grime. I am vulnerable. He pounces, hugging me around the waist and kissing me sloppily on the neck.

“Not now! Can’t you see I’m busy?” I complain. I am easily annoyed and angered by his sneak attack, wanting only to finish my chore. When I turn to see his smirk, I catch the twinkle in his eyes. I’m reminded to let go of what’s good for what is better. Living in the moment means embracing opportunities to love and be loved. Living fully is appreciating all that God has given. Being fully alive is embracing the 98% that is good in your circumstances and not the 2% that is lousy.

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

Randy Pausch asks us “to decide is you’re a Tigger or an Eyeore.” How will you live your day? Winnie the Pooh’s Tigger spends his day sharing his jubilation. Full of joy and life, he pounces on friends, enjoying each day with abandon. Are you a Tigger? Or more like Eyeore? The sad purple donkey lives inside his own agony. Focused on his problems, he feels cut apart from the world. He is anxious and alone.

Bad things happen and in the end we all die. Even Jesus, in coming to this world and living as human flesh, endured pain, persecution and death. He knew his Father’s plans. He foretold his death and yet the knowledge did not consume him. He carried himself with peace and dignity and honor.

In Christ we have peace. It not a matter of embracing our death. As believers we are accepting something more. Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Peace be with you!

Common Grounds - We're all the same.

"In the end we’re all the same." – Ben Kweller, Rock Musician


We are all the same.
On a physical level, we’re all the same. God made us of flesh and in the end we die. Our hearts stop beating and our lungs fail to rise and fall. Game over. There is no advantage in wealth, privilege, fame, popularity, notoriety, wisdom or education. Modern medicine might delay the inevitable but nothing can change our fate.


All the hours spent at work and school can’t save us. All the stuff we labored to accumulate amounts to nothing. As they say, "you can’t take it with you." Yet, we race around working overtime so we can have more stuff: a new car, a boat, the latest gadgets, a sparkling new kitchen. Will our new toys bring us satisfaction or leave us unfulfilled and wanting more? Are we so intent on our next purchase that we forget to enjoy what we already have?


‘"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.’ Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 captures Solomon’s struggle to find the meaning of life. If death is the end, where can we turn for true meaning and purpose in our lives?


We are not all the same.
Through faith in Christ Jesus we know that the end to our temporary assignment on earth is really the beginning of our permanent mission in eternal life. By the grace of God and the power of Jesus’ sacrifice we are redeemed. Only those among us who believe will be saved. In addition, our daily lives on earth become richer through our faith and our growing relationship with the Lord. Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10 KJV)


A friend asked me this week why I bother going to church. I did my best to share the joy and warmth I felt in worship and fellowship. He agreed that he was a big fan of warmth and joy; he finds all the warmth and joy he desires in sleeping late on Sunday morning. My friend is not interested in church, yet it seems he thirsts for something more.


Jesus has commissioned us to share his joy, his word and his way. As Jesus instructed the Samaritan woman at the well, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:13-14) Our faith in Christ ensures that our death is not the end. How do I share this good news with my friend?


When the Athenians asked Paul, "You are bringing some strange ideas to our ears, and we want to know what they mean,"(Acts 17:20), they opened the door to dialogue. They invited further discussion and explanation. Likewise, my friend asked another question. It was an invitation of sorts: "What if you are wrong?"


Do you know someone so afraid of being wrong or fearful of looking stupid that they refuse to believe? "What if you are wrong?" You can tell he is seeking. There is hunger for understanding and thirst for wisdom in such a question. I offered the simplest of replies; "what if I am right?"