Do you know someone like me? Many days I am so focused on goals and my “to-do” list that I miss out on everyday interactions. At school, I may be so busy trying to recruit new volunteers that I forget to make friends. At a meeting, my goal is to efficiently complete the agenda and I don’t notice the group member in need of extra time and attention. At home, my focus is on paying bills, making beds and cleaning up. Did I forget the children in the midst of all the chores?
September 22nd marked the 7th annual “Family Day - A Day to Eat Dinner with Your Children.” This national initiative was created to remind parents about the importance of “parental engagement in their children’s lives.” Where are our priorities as a society that we need a holiday to remind people to sit down as a family and spend time with our families?
To be honest, I had to check my calendar to tell you where we were on the 22nd. It was a typical day spent racing from one activity to the next: a carefully coordinated schedule of pick-ups and drop-offs. I think we ate dinner together but I imagine our conversation was centered on, “hurry up and eat so you won’t be late for your next activity.”
The busyness seems to cut across all generations. My parents are retired, yet their schedules are full: doctors appointments, tee times, book clubs, bridge matches, gardening, errands, shopping, etc. Our days are filled with activity, but are our lives full? Are we so busy pulling weeds that we don’t take time to smell the roses?
I have a prayer on my bathroom mirror. Each morning as I start my day it reminds me to “trust God that [I] am exactly where [I] am meant to be.” He chose this family, this time and this place for me. It’s a powerful reminder of God’s power in my life and of His plan. After all, it’s His agenda that counts, not mine.
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us.” (Ephesians 5:1-2).
Today I will reach out to those around me. I will be content knowing that God has a plan for me. In my family, my neighborhood and my community I can demonstrate His love. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22).
I will grow where I’ve been planted.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Commonunity - Common Problems
Five years ago, a friend invited me to her house. She and her husband welcomed me graciously into their home. We were not alone. As the kids ran off to play, we descended into the basement to join the other couples, seated in neat rows in front of the T.V.
I had joined a small group. I agreed to join before I really knew what it meant. I stood, clutching my standard, church issued, blue bible. Would it shield me from harm or danger? These people would seem harmless enough if encountered in ones or twos, but assembled as they were, as a pack, I was intimidated. "Don’t be fooled by their easy smiles and the punch and cookies," I cautioned myself. What did I have in common with these people? How could they understand my life and its problems?
We took turns introducing ourselves. With each story, I felt more out of place. I was new to church, still teetering in my faith, just a toddler in my faith-walk. Surrounding me was a room filled with bible-study veterans. My head started to spin. It seemed that everyone there was born and raised in a faith-filled environment and had never strayed from the path. Not me. I had a past. I had enough skeletons in my closet for a Halloween parade. How long would it take for them to run me out of the house with pitchforks and torches?
We started the video. I felt safe with the lights out. Rick Warren’s voice was comforting and the message was inspiring. I longed for comfort and encouragement. I came seeking a purpose for my life.
After the lights came on, we began to share. Although I felt my history, my understanding, and my experiences were unique, it turned out, we had so much in common. As I looked past their fancy Bibles with gold leaf edges, indexed tabs and custom carry cases, I realized we were not that different. We were all broken and hurting. We had all made mistakes. Deep down, our problems were all the same. We came before God seeking direction and answers. We joined as a group seeking comfort and compassion.
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).
As you go about your busy life and your busy week, be on the lookout. All of us struggle with loneliness, endure fears, seek purpose, and search for connections in a disconnected world. Look for those who need your help. We can provide a way out and a way through for those in need. We can borrow the strength and compassion of God and serve those in our community. Like strands of thread that grow strong when joined together as rope, we must stand together and share our common problems.
Our small group came together. Saving, helping, keeping and loving each other, together we grew stronger. No one cared about my plain blue bible. They cared about me.
“Carry each other’s burdens. Let us do good to all people.” (Galatians 6:2,10).
I had joined a small group. I agreed to join before I really knew what it meant. I stood, clutching my standard, church issued, blue bible. Would it shield me from harm or danger? These people would seem harmless enough if encountered in ones or twos, but assembled as they were, as a pack, I was intimidated. "Don’t be fooled by their easy smiles and the punch and cookies," I cautioned myself. What did I have in common with these people? How could they understand my life and its problems?
We took turns introducing ourselves. With each story, I felt more out of place. I was new to church, still teetering in my faith, just a toddler in my faith-walk. Surrounding me was a room filled with bible-study veterans. My head started to spin. It seemed that everyone there was born and raised in a faith-filled environment and had never strayed from the path. Not me. I had a past. I had enough skeletons in my closet for a Halloween parade. How long would it take for them to run me out of the house with pitchforks and torches?
We started the video. I felt safe with the lights out. Rick Warren’s voice was comforting and the message was inspiring. I longed for comfort and encouragement. I came seeking a purpose for my life.
After the lights came on, we began to share. Although I felt my history, my understanding, and my experiences were unique, it turned out, we had so much in common. As I looked past their fancy Bibles with gold leaf edges, indexed tabs and custom carry cases, I realized we were not that different. We were all broken and hurting. We had all made mistakes. Deep down, our problems were all the same. We came before God seeking direction and answers. We joined as a group seeking comfort and compassion.
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).
As you go about your busy life and your busy week, be on the lookout. All of us struggle with loneliness, endure fears, seek purpose, and search for connections in a disconnected world. Look for those who need your help. We can provide a way out and a way through for those in need. We can borrow the strength and compassion of God and serve those in our community. Like strands of thread that grow strong when joined together as rope, we must stand together and share our common problems.
Our small group came together. Saving, helping, keeping and loving each other, together we grew stronger. No one cared about my plain blue bible. They cared about me.
“Carry each other’s burdens. Let us do good to all people.” (Galatians 6:2,10).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
CommonUnity - Promises, Promises
The eight-foot tall cell phone in the atrium at church stood mocking me. The centerpiece of a new sermon series, it teased me with its full battery symbol and four bars of signal strength. How many times have you needed to make a call and found your phone wasn’t up to the task?
The cell phone providers outdo each other with splashy ad campaigns promising superior coverage and new technology. “Can you hear me now?” They assure us that our phones will work when we most need them. They make a lot of promises.
If you’ve ever waited up, sitting by the phone, for a call that never came, you know the disappointment of a broken promise. My husband travels a lot. When the kids were small, it was hard to be at home for long stretches of time, without adult conversation. He would promise to call between flights, just a quick call to touch base and say “hi.” Things didn’t always work as planned. The phone didn’t always work in the remote areas where he traveled or flight delays meant there was no time to call between connecting flights. Technology disappoints.
We reach out to others for strength and love. We seek companionship, encouragement, and understanding. We reach out to others to insulate us from loneliness. People make promises. Many try earnestly to keep their promises, yet “there is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20) It is inevitable that people will fail us.
As children, we rely on our parents for many things. Beyond the basics of food and shelter, we look to our parents for love and approval and the answers to life’s questions. My kids are still young enough that I’m still their “go-to girl.” They run to me for a kiss and a bandage for their scraped knees. They call to me for help with homework or to help resolve a dispute. It won’t last forever. By the time they are teenagers, I’m more likely to hear a sarcastic “Mom, what do you know about anything?” than an appreciative, “Mom, you’re so smart!” Loved ones will disappoint us.
How old were you when you realized your parents were only human? Did you feel let down?
Sometimes our expectations are too high. Many people look to their families, their jobs, their spouses, or their belongings as a source of happiness. They look all around for joy and satisfaction. They seek perfection from the imperfect.
Instead, of looking around, we need to look up. If we seek perfect peace, there is only one source with a perfect track record for promises fulfilled. We need to put our expectations at the feet of God. Life disappoints but the Lord delivers. “God had power to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:21). We can look to our Abba Father for a love that never fails and know that Christ is faithful to every promise ever made.
"Praise be to the LORD, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he has promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.” (1 Kings 8:56).
The cell phone providers outdo each other with splashy ad campaigns promising superior coverage and new technology. “Can you hear me now?” They assure us that our phones will work when we most need them. They make a lot of promises.
If you’ve ever waited up, sitting by the phone, for a call that never came, you know the disappointment of a broken promise. My husband travels a lot. When the kids were small, it was hard to be at home for long stretches of time, without adult conversation. He would promise to call between flights, just a quick call to touch base and say “hi.” Things didn’t always work as planned. The phone didn’t always work in the remote areas where he traveled or flight delays meant there was no time to call between connecting flights. Technology disappoints.
We reach out to others for strength and love. We seek companionship, encouragement, and understanding. We reach out to others to insulate us from loneliness. People make promises. Many try earnestly to keep their promises, yet “there is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20) It is inevitable that people will fail us.
As children, we rely on our parents for many things. Beyond the basics of food and shelter, we look to our parents for love and approval and the answers to life’s questions. My kids are still young enough that I’m still their “go-to girl.” They run to me for a kiss and a bandage for their scraped knees. They call to me for help with homework or to help resolve a dispute. It won’t last forever. By the time they are teenagers, I’m more likely to hear a sarcastic “Mom, what do you know about anything?” than an appreciative, “Mom, you’re so smart!” Loved ones will disappoint us.
How old were you when you realized your parents were only human? Did you feel let down?
Sometimes our expectations are too high. Many people look to their families, their jobs, their spouses, or their belongings as a source of happiness. They look all around for joy and satisfaction. They seek perfection from the imperfect.
Instead, of looking around, we need to look up. If we seek perfect peace, there is only one source with a perfect track record for promises fulfilled. We need to put our expectations at the feet of God. Life disappoints but the Lord delivers. “God had power to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:21). We can look to our Abba Father for a love that never fails and know that Christ is faithful to every promise ever made.
"Praise be to the LORD, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he has promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.” (1 Kings 8:56).
Thursday, September 11, 2008
September 11th
This isn’t my regular day to post, yet I felt moved to reach out today, September 11, 2008. At times, these seven years feel like a lifetime ago. Other days the events seem just a heartbeat away.
My mom sent us a children’s book. The book’s jacket describes a “moving portrait of September 11, 2001 and its aftermath. A Nation Challenged records one of the most important and devastating events in modern American history.” The feelings were so raw, I put the book on my son’s bookshelf to gather dust while I summoned the courage to explain what happened and why.
Each year I pondered if he was old enough. Deep down, I guess I didn’t want to be the one to break the news and shatter his sense of safety. He’s so young, so trusting, so innocent. Yet as we put our flags out, I wanted him to recognize the significance of the day.
I paged through the book for a starting point. The pictures of the crash and collapse were haunting reminders of the loved one that were lost and the lives that were forever changed. The starkness of time lines and maps contrasted with the pain and grief of the world as it mourned. People from across the United States and around the world came together. In churches and mosques and temples, we united to cry and lift our voices in song. People gathered together and prayed in the streets and at work and at schools around the globe.
This is what I will show my children. Along with the pain and the sadness I will share the hope and the faith and the love. Pictures of people in New York, Florida and Los Angeles are along side pictures of people in Kenya, Taiwan, India, and England. Each person with hands folded in prayer.
For all of our differences, there is much we have in common.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8)
The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. (Psalm 145:14)
The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus....And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:7)
Please join the conversation. Click below on comments to add your thoughts, recollections, or encouragements with others. Speaking with Integrity will resume on Sunday with the new series Commonunity.
My mom sent us a children’s book. The book’s jacket describes a “moving portrait of September 11, 2001 and its aftermath. A Nation Challenged records one of the most important and devastating events in modern American history.” The feelings were so raw, I put the book on my son’s bookshelf to gather dust while I summoned the courage to explain what happened and why.
Each year I pondered if he was old enough. Deep down, I guess I didn’t want to be the one to break the news and shatter his sense of safety. He’s so young, so trusting, so innocent. Yet as we put our flags out, I wanted him to recognize the significance of the day.
I paged through the book for a starting point. The pictures of the crash and collapse were haunting reminders of the loved one that were lost and the lives that were forever changed. The starkness of time lines and maps contrasted with the pain and grief of the world as it mourned. People from across the United States and around the world came together. In churches and mosques and temples, we united to cry and lift our voices in song. People gathered together and prayed in the streets and at work and at schools around the globe.
This is what I will show my children. Along with the pain and the sadness I will share the hope and the faith and the love. Pictures of people in New York, Florida and Los Angeles are along side pictures of people in Kenya, Taiwan, India, and England. Each person with hands folded in prayer.
For all of our differences, there is much we have in common.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:8)
The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. (Psalm 145:14)
The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus....And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:7)
Please join the conversation. Click below on comments to add your thoughts, recollections, or encouragements with others. Speaking with Integrity will resume on Sunday with the new series Commonunity.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Common Grounds - Lead with love
“You can’t lead the people, if you don’t love the people. You can’t save the people, if you don’t serve the people.” – Cornel West, professor at Princeton University.
Leadership and service are hot topics in the world today. Teachers, coaches, bosses, church leaders and politicians impact our lives. What do you think makes a strong leader? What qualities and qualifications in a leader inspire you to follow?
Not all of us feel equipped to lead. We all know people who are fearful of stepping forward and taking on responsibility for others. Yet each of us has an opportunity - actually a responsibility - to lead others by the example of our daily life.
My daily life is not always noteworthy. As a wife and a mother I have many responsibilities. Many are mundane. There is nothing glamorous about mopping floors or washing dishes. I have bratty days when I mutter and complain, “why am I the only one who has to wash the floors?” One day in the midst of my pity party, it occurred to me, “I’m the mom.” These were jobs that I had unwittingly accepted when I became a wife and mother. It’s my turn. I can go about my chores grumbling and complaining or I can adopt a cheerful attitude.
One day I was preparing for out-of-town guests, cleaning spots of the house that were long neglected. As I worked to make my house presentable, a strange thought occurred to me. What if I were getting ready for a visit from Jesus? (I feel confident he would not be scrutinizing the crumbs in the crisper drawer.) My attitude was transformed by the notion. My pace picked up as I hummed a tune. I was no longer slaving out of duty; instead, I was serving out of love. My kids may have wondered, “what’s up with mom?” I hope the lesson wasn’t lost.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,” (Ephesians 6:7).
Have you ever had the doorbell ring with an unexpected guest when you were least prepared? How did you welcome your guest? With apologies and your foot blockading the doorway? Or with graciousness and love?
Mother Teresa tells us, “It does not matter how much we give, but how much love we put into our giving.” Give what you have with love. Your attitude when you give is more important than what you have to share.
This was demonstrated to me a few weeks ago. I was in need and feeling lost and distressed. I found myself, uninvited and unannounced, on my friends’ doorstep. They were still unpacking after a recent move and had a busy day scheduled with chores and errands. They lovingly welcomed me to their house and dropped their lives for an hour to help me in my time of need. Their actions were simple. The love and compassion showed through.
As Jesus professed, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40).
My friends are shining examples of service and leadership with love. I am inspired by them to reach out to others just as they did to me. Simple acts of kindness can have a big impact.
Leadership opportunities surround us. We may be leaders in business, in school, in church or in our own homes and neighborhoods. I believe that people are inspired to follow when a leader shows both passion and compassion. My father always reminded me that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” If we are looking for a common ground as a basis for a conversation about faith, there is no more universal starting place than love.
Mother Teresa reminds us that “when your heart is large, God’s love will spill over, splashing onto everything you touch and wetting everyone you contact.”
“Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.” (Daniel 12:3)
Leadership and service are hot topics in the world today. Teachers, coaches, bosses, church leaders and politicians impact our lives. What do you think makes a strong leader? What qualities and qualifications in a leader inspire you to follow?
Not all of us feel equipped to lead. We all know people who are fearful of stepping forward and taking on responsibility for others. Yet each of us has an opportunity - actually a responsibility - to lead others by the example of our daily life.
My daily life is not always noteworthy. As a wife and a mother I have many responsibilities. Many are mundane. There is nothing glamorous about mopping floors or washing dishes. I have bratty days when I mutter and complain, “why am I the only one who has to wash the floors?” One day in the midst of my pity party, it occurred to me, “I’m the mom.” These were jobs that I had unwittingly accepted when I became a wife and mother. It’s my turn. I can go about my chores grumbling and complaining or I can adopt a cheerful attitude.
One day I was preparing for out-of-town guests, cleaning spots of the house that were long neglected. As I worked to make my house presentable, a strange thought occurred to me. What if I were getting ready for a visit from Jesus? (I feel confident he would not be scrutinizing the crumbs in the crisper drawer.) My attitude was transformed by the notion. My pace picked up as I hummed a tune. I was no longer slaving out of duty; instead, I was serving out of love. My kids may have wondered, “what’s up with mom?” I hope the lesson wasn’t lost.
“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,” (Ephesians 6:7).
Have you ever had the doorbell ring with an unexpected guest when you were least prepared? How did you welcome your guest? With apologies and your foot blockading the doorway? Or with graciousness and love?
Mother Teresa tells us, “It does not matter how much we give, but how much love we put into our giving.” Give what you have with love. Your attitude when you give is more important than what you have to share.
This was demonstrated to me a few weeks ago. I was in need and feeling lost and distressed. I found myself, uninvited and unannounced, on my friends’ doorstep. They were still unpacking after a recent move and had a busy day scheduled with chores and errands. They lovingly welcomed me to their house and dropped their lives for an hour to help me in my time of need. Their actions were simple. The love and compassion showed through.
As Jesus professed, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40).
My friends are shining examples of service and leadership with love. I am inspired by them to reach out to others just as they did to me. Simple acts of kindness can have a big impact.
Leadership opportunities surround us. We may be leaders in business, in school, in church or in our own homes and neighborhoods. I believe that people are inspired to follow when a leader shows both passion and compassion. My father always reminded me that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” If we are looking for a common ground as a basis for a conversation about faith, there is no more universal starting place than love.
Mother Teresa reminds us that “when your heart is large, God’s love will spill over, splashing onto everything you touch and wetting everyone you contact.”
“Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.” (Daniel 12:3)
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